No drinking horns allowed into the arena area.. No circle pits.. No drinking cartons over a certain size allowed into the arena area.. No walls of death.

Really? What next; no metal? Get a fucking grip.

I'm just grumpy because I slept whilst Anvil were playing... Fucking late arse playing time.

Oh, and I lost my drinking horn.

Oh, and I couldn't successfully toss an axe and get its blade to stick into the wooden target.. I could only hit the target with the handle.. Which still sounded satisfying.

Oh and I nearly pissed myself because the 'Viking Blood' on sale at the Wackinger Market went through my system in about five seconds, and I had to que for a good minute or so in a queue for toilets which you have to pay fifty cents for. I ended up pissing on the fencing surrounding the toilets because I was about to fucking burst. I should have just pissed there from the start! Not waste fifty cents and a minute of my life! I thought I'd try and be a civilized Englishman on holiday, but no, I just ended up pissing on a fence.

Luckily doing so is the norm in Wacken, though I still feel I've further tarnished the reputation of Brits abroad, if that's possible.

I love you all for reading this or skipping to this part. Thank you.

I seem to be having audio problems when viewing flashes now, by that I mean having no audio at all... I think it's got something to do with those Cillit Wang adverts.

In fact, I'm sure of it.

We should all pool together our measly wealth to hire an assassin to kill the face of Cillit Bang. That won't stop the adverts, but hey, I'm past that now. I've moved on, bigger and brighter things. Murder.

I'm serving a five day ban for saying to the "turd of the week" winner; "I hope you die in a fire".

Herp.

Considering when you vote zero on an audio submission, Darnell says "I hope you in a fire". Should everyone be banned because they are voting zero and consequently telling the author that?

Or could it be argued that that is just Darnell's views and not your own? If so, should Darnell be banned?

FUCKING HELL, I JUST WANT SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME TO BE BANNED. -Cries-

I understand when Tom said he wanted to tone things down because they were becoming more commercial, but that is like... Erm... Good analogy anyone?

It's like telling Rocky to stop doing training montages. IT'S WHO HE IS! LET HIM POUND THAT MEAT!

I don't really know what to put in these news things, I see a lot of Artists who let users know what's going on with their projects, yet I've got nothing going on worthy of mentioning.

What I do want to let you know though is that I just left a review for a piece of artwork and typo'd twice in it. The words I typo'd are simple words that would of helped me to construct the sentence I wanted to write. Now I just sound like some illiterate douche who has ground text through a translator.

It pisses me off how I can't go back and edit my review, but I completely understand why you can't. People would be changing their review left right and center. Perhaps NG could incorporate a spell checker or some shit.

Yeah, you can probably tell I'm pretty cut up about this right now. Spelling shit right makes me feel good about myself, like I've overcome the poverty that grips my land and have shown my struggle through shoddily constructed schools, where the teachers beat you with words.

I'm from the UK by the way.

Erm, anyway, look forward to my future releases; Transformers III: Where did it all go wrong? (when I took over as director) [[Yeah, it's a working title]], Starwars VII: Buying back the international copyrights of Starwars shit [[Again, it's a working title]] and finally Avatar II: I did not rip off Fern Gully, there is actually a book called Avatar or something that we all have ripped off [[I'm actually happy with this title]].

As you might have guessed, I don't plan to make any of those films. Quite possibly the second strongest reason for this is because I don't hold the rights. The first being I don't like actors in general. You can't tell when they're being serious. If I was to interview someone, how would I know he/she wasn't just acting? I think the way to solve this is to punch the actor/actress in the face hole sometime during the interview. If the actor/actress shouts 'KAPOOWIEEEEEEEE', you know that they're not taking the interview seriously. If they scream and shout and threaten to sue you, you're onto a genuine human being who, up until that point, was being genuinely nice and held enough respect towards you that they were willing to partake in an interview.

Unfortunately, this will undoubtedly put an end to the interview. It is a bit like witches in the old days (skip this part if you're American as it won't make sense to your young minds). To see if a woman was a witch, you would throw her in a lake and see if she either floated or sank. If she sank, she was innocent. If she floated, she was guilty and would then proceed to be burnt of hung or both.

At any rate, it's getting really late (or early) and I haven't brushed my teeth (yes, we Brits DO brush our teeth! Even if it is annually).

I tried snorting coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

A man is raping a woman. She screams "Please! Think of my Children!". To which the male rapist replies; "You kinky bitch!".

Sometimes you just can't win. I feel that way a lot. Never more so though when I try and swim upstream. I just constantly get forced back downstream. I've tried to cheat and use a rubber dinghy, but a school of Salmon just so happened to be swimming upstream in the same lake as me and gave me this bone chilling stare.

I've never felt so rejected in all my life. Even when I inquired to my Mother about why I have a scar above my eye. To which she replied "Because I tried to abort you using a coat hanger".

I cried for months after that, but the wound healed. The salmon issue though is still fresh, I doubt I will ever be whole again. I think I made things irreversiblly worse by murdering the school of Salmon and selling it on to John West to be sold in Tescos.

I can still hear them gurgle on their own blood as I gutted each and everyone one. Or was that me when I was using their eye juice as mouthwash...? Times are hard, one must use what one can find.

I'm genuinely sorry if you have read all of this. I hope you weren't expecting anything.

I will try and make a flash animation for you. Hopefully that will make you forgive me.

OBELISK LOOK! IT'S UNICRON!

Edit - FUCKING TYPOS